i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
