we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
