I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
