i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
