So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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