I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
