Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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