My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
