he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
