i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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