Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
