I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
