I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
