Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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