i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
