He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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