Already got asked if we're dating
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
