If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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