Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
