4 words: hood of his car
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
