bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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