im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
