I should be sponsored by Trojan
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
