but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
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