It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
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Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
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You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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