Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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