Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
