I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
