i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
