somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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