she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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