I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
