k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
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Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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