Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
