I got chris browned last night
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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