They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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