You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
