Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
