All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
