This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
