the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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