Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize