i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
