i love accidental penises.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
