can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dignity is for republicans.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
