ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ttyl tear gas
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
