I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I deserve this hangover.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
