I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
