Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"it" just moved
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
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