he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
