worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
