if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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