I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
