Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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