Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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