North Korea, Best Korea!
I cockslap morals
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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