He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
