I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
