Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
