i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
