SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
