How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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