youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016