omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016