Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
are you still at the devil's house?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.