READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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